The Men's Rights Activist
"Please. The feminist machine has made the male a species on the run, raising our boys to be self-hating, sissy DORKS! How can you say women get raped? That's a myth. We are in the dark age of misandry here, men. Not since Boudicca and the Amazons have we been so victimized and demonized in society."
"See, I don't understand why we can't just be equals, here. Feminism was good, but it's run its course and has accomplished its goals. This just feels like henpecking, to me."
The "Good Man"
"Hey, I'm not a rapist or abuser or anything, but I don't need to be a feminist to be a good man. See, women are such beautiful, nurturing creatures of grace and beauty, and it's wrong to do ANYTHING to them. That's why we men are gifted with strength and quiet resolve, to protect our women and make sure nothing ever hurts them."
"Go back to the kitchen!!!!"
"I believe, ma'am, that your criticism is very off-base and I will respectfully take the time to guide you by the hand on a wondrous discourse of logic and rhetoric so that you may learn, at the seat of pre-law undergrad genius, of where your worldview vis-a-vis gender is wrong and imperfect."
"I know where you live, and I am going to rape you."
The Rape Apologist
"Rape is just so over-used, these days. I hear some of these stories, and I don't think a lot of them are rape so much as they are 'sex-regret' stories. Okay, maybe 'gray rape' can apply, but I just think some of these girls use it to cover up their mistakes."
"My ex-wife used to say this shit all the time, and she robbed me blind in the divorce, and turned my kids against me! Yeah women have it so hard, but all they gotta do is tell the judge I beat them and cry a bit to their lawyer, and they get the world! Bitches."
The Wounded Soul
"I just don't understand it! Why do feminists hate men so much? What have we done, as a collective sex, to engender such hatred?"
"Why do all women seem to think this way? I mean... I'm decently attractive, and can kind of dress myself, and no matter what you women tell me I can never seem to get you women to talk to me! What is so wrong with gender relations when a guy can't even get girls to talk to them no matter how hard he tries??"
The Contrarian, Feminism Expert Male
"Actually, honey, you seem to be getting this backwards. Here, let me explain what feminism REALLY says about this ..."
The Lukewarm Privilege Dude
"I really want to like feminism ... but then I read stuff like this, and I'm like, 'how could I ever be a feminist if all of you believe this kind of stuff?' It just seems so extreme to me..."
The Guy Who Obviously Doesn't Talk To A Lot of Women
"Hey, I know a LOT of girls, and none of them think like this. Why can't more of you feminists be like THAT?"
"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."*
"God made men and women the way he did for a reason, and I think that stuff like this is just temptation to keep women from their divine duties as women."
*Direct quote from Pat Robertson